• Matt’s memory lives on, and it’s up to you to decide how. RIP. Patron poll begins Friday at 2 PM ET and runs through Thursday, March 15!
• BREAKING NEWS: North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has invited the U.S. to speak about possible terms for “permanent denuclearization.” Wat.
• Hidden from the Headlines: a new and troubling trend of governors refusing to hold special elections when they fear their party might be on the losing end. This is NOT what democracy looks like.
• Alexa users are reporting that the AI will laugh creepily. On her own. Unprompted. HARD FUCKIN PASS.
• “Family Foundations”: they love family so much, they want every child to start their own!
• Surprise, bitch! confuses a listener at work, and Associate Producer’s Choice has us worrying about the Potter franchise.

And in After Dark, available to $2+ Patrons this week:

• The truth is out there. So are our conspiracy theories.
• A program to research aliens, and whether they’ve visited Earth, is a real thing.
• We reveal our own extraterrestrial experiences.
• Andrew calls for help.

To listen to Episode #4×09, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player: