Note: There is an issue with Andrew’s voice on this recording that we were unable to correct. We apologize for the issue and promise it won’t happen again!

Andrew was almost murdered by a serial killer last week, so this episode is brought to you by paranoia: saving your life, one gut instinct at a time.

• Divinely inspired during his near-death experience, Andrew introduces a new game designed specifically to make the other hosts cringe.
• Sarah Palin is bringing stupid back with her formal endorsement of Potato Face, and we’re all mystified as to how the GOP let it get to this point.
• Associate Producer’s Choice asks us: is the world really doomed? Or are we just cynics? The answer is yes.
• News tells the prophecy of a world engulfed in flame and shadow, so yeah I guess we all gonna die.
• If you care about your sushi (or your oceans), you’ll start demanding hunting moratoriums on local fish populations cause they’re dying too. Look, it’s a party.
• I have no friends. You have no friends. And Facebook deceives us both. A new study shows there is zero correlation between social media friends and actual friends, yet we’re all still about those filtered food pics.
• Taking on the sexy, compelling stories the lamestream media won’t, we parse two Hidden from the Headlines gems sure to throw your inner outrage into high gear.
• Surprise, bitch! welcomes Summer and her apparent sexual fetish for cracklin. What… whatever that is?

And in this installment of After Dark:

• Sarah Palin’s dumpy ass endorsement of Trump deserves a few extra minutes, God damn it.
• Resident drug addict Laura Tee initiates a series of stories about getting high, watching each other get high, and whether that was actually Jupiter in our friend’s oven.
•  “Just say no. Unless it’s a hit of acid. Then say, ‘okay but only once.'” -Andrew Sims

To listen to Episode #2×03, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player: