#Millennial: The Podcast For Millennials

We brought you the original Jurassic Park. We crafted the first craft beer. We patented the concept of social commentary and invented the cat meme revolution. We are viral, apathetic, digital, entitled and diverse. We are the iEra of human evolution. We are #Millennial, the podcast for millennials.

Podcast For Millennials

And we’re here to change the world. Armed only with the ubiquitous power of USB headsets and mediocre production value, we will not rest until every inane story has been unearthed, turned to click-bait, and generated at least 300 pointless internet comments. We’re like Walter Cronkite with attitude, if Walter Cronkite had been an idiot.

Each week, a roundtable of friends discuss the latest news affecting our daily lives. But isn’t all about figuring out how to afford rent, securing our digital lives, and eating avocado toast — We also discuss butts, pesky relationships, annoying family members, and anything else that enters our medicated brains. Simply put, #Millennial is your podcast for dealing with and laughing through growing up.

#Millennial Podcast releases a new episode every week!

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Episode #4×24: Who [Thinks They’ll] Be A Millionaire?

  • Incredibles 2 flew into theaters and blew the box office (and fans!) away. Plus, Bey and Jay released a new album.
  • Marc rejoins us this week to tell us what nerds should be excited for after E3. (The answer is ALWAYS Pokémon, duh.)
  • Just in case you missed it…
  • THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES
  • THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES
  • THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES
  • Got it? Jeff Sessions joins us to share some of his favorite fascist-inspired scriptural quotations.
  • According to a new study 53% of millennials expect to become millionaires. This is not the economy you are looking for.
  • We discuss the recent allegations against Chris Hardwick. Are we too fast to crucify based on allegations?
  • Who said it: Donald Trump or another infamous dictator?

And in this week’s installment of After Dark:

  • Recommendations: booze edition
  • Vacation shaming: why are Americans so afraid to use their paid time off? How can we counter our culture of working ourselves to death for bragging rights?
  • A new After Dark perk, MuggleSuck, makes it debut. On a monthly basis, we’ll share insider stories about our previous “employer.”

To listen to Episode #4×24, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×23: A Quarter’s The Charm

  • Who did it better? IHOP marketing their “name change” to “IHOB,” or Agent Orange marketing his summit with Little Rocket Man? All this in this week’s #Millennial and much more!
  • We call Kate, a Canadian listener who schools us in provincial politics and explains the election of min-Trump, Doug Ford.
  • President Trump tells our allies to suck a dick and leaves the G7 summit early to snuggle up with a murderous dictator instead.
  • The University of Pennsylvania has released a new study that shows social change can be brought around by convincing just 25% of your social circle to support it. Time to take Laura’s advice and be the annoying person at parties asking if people are registered to vote.
  • Hidden from the Headlines: the EPA laughs in the face of accurate, straight-forward, and historically proven science… again.
  • The Confessional: Relationship Edition.

And in this week’s installment of After Dark:

  • Surprise Bitch! leaves us sad when THREE PEOPLE don’t answer their phones. You’re telling us you have something better to do than waiting to hear from us?!
  • Listener Julia saves the day and answers her phone. We talk LA and asbestos.
  • In somber news, we discuss the recent tragic deaths of designer Kate Spade and chef Anthony Bourdain. Why is suicide only ever discussed after we lose someone to it?

To listen to Episode #4×23, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×22: Happy Pride

  • Happy June, Happy Pride!
  • We welcome Dr. Sarah Steelman to the show to discuss her research on same-gender pairings and degrees of “outness.”
  • Sarah informs us on a number of topics, including queer theory, the Matrix of Intelligibility, and the impacts of heteronormativity, politics, and history on LGB persons.
  • In the news: Apple’s iOS 12 aims to decrease notifications stress, SCOTUS rules in favor of an anti-gay baker, Facebook proves yet again why they suck at data privacy, and a US Senator attempts to tour a detention center where unaccompanied immigrant children are being held.

Thank you to this week’s advertisers!

  • Get 50% off your first month of BioClarity, plus free shipping, by going to BioClarity.com and using code MIL!
  • Visit ZipRecruiter.com/Millennial to find the perfect job candidate!
  • Get a huge, delicious variety of meats from Omaha Steaks for only $49.99 plus free shipping by visiting OmahaSteaks.com and typing ‘Millennial’ in the search bar. Or, click here.

And in this week’s installment of After Dark:

  • Dr. Steelman talks about her doctoral experience and provides some sage advice for anyone thinking of pursuing a PhD.
  • Samantha Bee and “the c-word.” We dive into whether or not we were ok with the joke, and if we agreed with Sam’s apology to Ivanka Trump. Mixed opinions abound!

To listen to Episode #4×22, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×21: Marcah

  • “Bless me #Millennial for I have sinned. It has been 3 days and 12 hours since the last time I threw my garbage on a movie theater floor.” – Andrew
  • Marc (aka Micah?) joins us and gives us his E3 predictions. He and Andrew plan to get E-rect.
  • We force Pam to answer some cringey interview questions used by employers to be hip and cool with the kids.
  • In the news: The Celebrity President is leading up to an exciting season finale: Will they or won’t they: North Korea edition, The great GDPR inbox flood, Instagram has a mute feature, and the US lost 1,475 migrant children. We wish this were all #fakenews.
  • A familiar voice deigns to join us for Surprise Bitch! and we’re all signing DNRs in case we end up hospitalized in LA.

And in this week’s episode of After Dark:

  • Google that shit!
  • What to do when you’re “the other woman.” We try to give some honest, frank advice about getting out of an affair.
  • Traditional definitions of virginity do not cover the range of (super super hot and fun) things you can do that qualify as sex.

To listen to Episode #4×21, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×20: Worse Than War

  • Welcome back to #Millennial! it’s 4×20 maaaaaaaaaaan.
  • We kick off the show with a new segment, #MilleniHelp. With almost a third of the US population not putting away enough for retirement, what are we doing to save? Patrons sound off and share some of their best savings advice.
  • Here we go again: we discuss the 22nd school shooting of 2018 and no one is surprised.
  • Things the GOP will ban before guns: doors, high-rise buildings, schools.
  • The infamous Laurel vs Yanny debate brings science and linguistics to the show (Let’s be real though, the right answer is Laurel).
  • Hidden From The Headlines: Andrew Smith, the lawyer who represented Equifax after its massive data breach last year, has been appointed to run the Federal Trade Commission. This is the office investigating — you guessed it — Equifax.

And in this week’s episode of After Dark:

  • WTF News returns!
  • What blows up in a 7-11 microwave before you go for a drug test? Tune in at 9 to find out!
  • A creepy home invasion story has us all re-evaluating our sense of security at home.
  • “I fought the dog and the dog won.” Good boy teaches owner important gun safety lesson.
  • Somehow we end up reviewing the FDA handbook for legally acceptable amounts of insect parts in certain foods?

To listen to Episode #4×20, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×19: Trivia Night

  • “Happy Mother’s Day to everyone! I don’t want to see any more pictures of your mom!” – Andrew
  • Please take this survey so we can help create the best Patreon possible!
  • A Chicago bar stole our logo for their Millennial trivia night, so we’re giving away a free month of Patreon to Surprise Bitch! callers who prove their #lit knowledge.
  • Apple hasn’t come out with a GrayKey condom to protect your phone from law enforcement (yet), but a new patch coming in iOS 11.4 will render the lightening port useable only for charging.
  • The end is near(?) The US-North Korea summit will take place on June 12th in Singapore. A historic moment for sure – but will anything come of it?
  • Texas is late (as always) to the gay marriage party, so a teacher has been put on administrative leave after telling students about her future wife.
  • Android is adding new features aimed at decreasing time spent on mobile devices. I can haz feature to decrease student loan debt?’

And this week’s After Dark is a grab bag of topics!

  • Surprise Bitch! catches up with one our our favorite nEHbors to the north.
  • What tactics do we use to power through procrastination?
  • What are the most embarrassing moments we’ve ever had while dating? One of these stories involves a foot getting stuck in a toilet (no, really).

To listen to Episode #4×19, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×18: Love At First Poke

  • #Millennial is back for another packed episode, and Hawaii is turning into Mount Doom!
  • Is Roe vs. Wade in trouble, and is the anti-choice argument really about the sanctity of life? (Spoiler: Nope.)
  • Love at first poke: Facebook is trying to clean up its #fakenews image and starting its own online dating platform.
  • Californians will have to make a tough choice: avocados or solar panels – can’t have both!
  • Kanye is doing the lord’s work by diluting centuries of suffering into a simple “choice.”
  • “I specifically ordered Persian rugs with cherub imagery. What do I have to do to get a Persian rug with cherub imagery.” Kellyanne Kanye or Trumpster Fire?

And in this week’s edition of After Dark:

  • The Life and Lies of Rudy Giuliani: Giuliani joined Trump’s legal team and violated attorney-client privilege all within a 48 hour span.
  • A Storm is coming: Stormy Daniels continues trolling Trump. Is she hurting her credibility?

To listen to Episode #4×18, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×17: Smokey Eye

  • North and South Korea: are they or aren’t they?
  • Speaking of couples who deserve each other, T-Mobile and Sprint are creating one network to rule them all (with shitty reception).
  • Michelle Wolf was savage at the White House Correspondents’ dinner, and we. are. here. for. it.
  • Democrats, Republicans, and the media alike were butt hurt to have the first amendment take priority over their evening of self-aggrandizing and schmoozing.
  • Got an annoying friend who can’t shut up about their genealogy results? Take heart, they might be a serial killer!
  • Joy Reid, the very popular and very liberal MSNBC host has come under scrutiny for homophobic blog posts from a decade ago. Does someone deserve forgiveness for a homophobic past when they can’t own up to that past in the first place?
  • We wrap the show with a SPOILER RIDDEN review of Avengers: Infinity War. Turn the show off when we issue the spoiler warning unless you want the part where Tony Stark adopts Peter Parker and Rocket Raccoon ruined! (Oops!)

And on this week’s episode of After Dark (available to $2+ Patrons!):

  • WTF News returns. Would you post on social media to get out of a speeding ticket? Where does New York’s poop go? Better yet, can teddy bears be seen on x-rays?
  • Devil’s Advocate: Social media self-shaming to avoid traffic tickets.

To listen to Episode #4×17, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×16: BFF or BBF?

  • Uncle Andrew lets us peek behind the curtain of MuggleCast headquarters.
  • Let’s play a LoveGame, a LoveGame: Laura battles to the death to retain her BFF status, and things get heated.
  • America’s Dad is going to prison and we try to figure out what makes this case different from the many others like it.
  • The first successful male genital transplant gives Andrew #hope.
  • This email will self-destruct in 10 minutes.
  • Surprise, bitch! welcomes our new favorite Canuk to the show, who graciously explains to us what it’s like to have a normal national leader.

And in this week’s After Dark:

  • Devil’s Advocate: the genital transplant edition. A fitting first run for our new beloved co-host Pam.
  • From our Feed: a listener asks for advice, and we divulge.
  • Kellyanne Kanye blew up Twitter with his #MAGA nonsense. We play a game to see if we can tell the difference between his BS and Trump’s.

To listen to Episode #4×16, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player:

Episode #4×15: Better Call Cohen

  • Is there even a 1% chance our boyfriends think we have a pee tape? Find out live, just like we do.
  • This message brought to you by grad school: fuckin everyone over, one podcast at a time.
  • We dig into an explosive news week with a discussion — and a game — surrounding the latest Trump/Cohen/Stormy drama. We even stuff our mouths with marbles.
  • A new device allows law enforcement to break into our phones and new credit card terms allow us to save some trees.
  • A listener seeks our sage life advice.
  • Time to get fit and be scared.

In this week’s After Dark:

  • What parts about being an adult weren’t we prepared for?
  • This gets real, fast, as we share genuine experiences and fears.
  • But also, [Seinfeld voice] what’s the deal with produce?! 

To listen to Episode #4×15, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player: