- Our hearts ache for Las Vegas right now. And we would send them our thoughts and prayers, but thoughts and prayers are worth approximately nothing. We need gun control. Now.
- Help us, Justice Kennedy– you’re our only hope. The Supreme Court just heard oral arguments in a historic gerrymandering case and there seems to be room for optimism.
- Is it possible for a show to have too many Trump jokes? The return of Will & Grace answers that question. As well as the hopes of dreams of 90s gay kids everywhere.
- Not even God is awake at 6 AM, but we expect our kids to be. A new study proves early ass school days are bad for teenagers’ health.
- FUCK OFF, CUPID. The segment makes a harrowing return with the help of several crushed dreams. #ForeverAlone
And this week’s After Dark is available to ALL Patrons:
- WTF News edition. Now there’s a throwback. “YESSS.”
- German ecstasy pills in the shape of Dear Leader.
- Semen-laden flutes.
- Cow farts.