- An update to ButtGate: someone is forced to tell their boyfriend the truth.
- “I’m just going to gently spread your labia,” said the stranger named Gale. And we let them.
- The Confessional asks us about vomit and blowjobs, two themes that go together like Andrew and dentists.
- “I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKIN PASSENGERS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE” -United Airlines. Fly the friendly skies.
- President Trump (hahaha still soul-crushing to write) launches tomahawk missiles in Syria, attacking the airfields President Assad used to launch last week’s chemical attack against his own civilians.
- Someone should’ve bought baby Trump a game of Risk so he could understand that war is a fucking strategic enterprise not a God damned Atlantic City craps table.
- Happy Passover, Jewish friends! This holiday, kick back and let White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer school you on Holocaust history. #KnowledgeIsPower
- Surprise, bitch! continues to be an actual fucking bitch.
In this week’s After Dark:
- Laura’s quarter-life crisis continues as she details the many policies that are holding first time home-buyers (such as herself) back.
- Andrew is down to clown with the nearest real estate agent willing to waive closing costs.
- Life sucks.
To listen to Episode #3×13, update your iTunes/RSS feed (here’s more on how to listen), directly download the file, or use this player: